Orphan Fetuses Are the Next Gun.

I’m afraid of people, there I said it, I’m afraid of people, remember in my other post how I said I love to go out in public and frighten people with my upholstery randomness? Well I do! I love doing that don’t get me wrong! But remember, that’s with COMPLETE strangers, people who are my age and who I might run into again in the future are people who I’m a-scared of!

            It’s like, people who hear me wrong, or people who just are rude in general, yes they make me angry, but in a way that’s silent and frightened.

            For example, today I was enjoying lunch on the opposite side of town with my friends and then these girls thought I called their other friend a “bitch” and I was like ‘IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY’ I really had nothing else to say because I was frightened for my life.

            When there’s a group of girls who scare the shit out of you so much that you just want to pee… EVERYWHERE, you don’t necessarily speak back, or yell at them. It’s kind of like… I had the feeling if I spoke back they’d all turn around and eat my soul. I’m a ginger, so someone eating my soul is not only impossible but it’s frightening to know the process can reverse.

            Not to mention a lot of them looked like they were ready to shank me repeatedly with orphan babies that were not even born yet and were just little fetuses. THEY WERE GOING TO BEAT ME UP WITH ORPHAN FETUSES!

But in the end we made up and the WORLD WAS HAPPY.

            On a different subject, MY DOG HAD PUPPIES

Yes that is my best drawing of them and i know they look like they all have some viral patchy-disease.

            On a separate note; a good way to spend the day is just Zelda and 2 pounds of chocolate and one other person and a computer with internet access, because my sister and I were doing this last weekend and it worked out perfectly.

           

            Oh and happy mothers day.

            On a separate note ever hear people who say “I’m so for cancer!” Now I know they mean well, they fight cancer I’m sure.

            Or DO they?!

            When they say “Were for cancer” doesn’t that mean their WITH cancer, that means they don’t want to STOP the growth of cancer, they want it to continue! Same with any other disease! Everyone’s all like “were so for syphilis, or herpes! Or even metapause” I know metapause isn’t a disease, but y’know.  

            I’m drinking Orange pop… I DON’T EVEN LIKE ORANGE POP!!! D: 

LOOK AT THIS PUPPY

            I would like to introduce you all to someone, HIS NAME IS Watour-Meal-on (for short we’ll call him watermelon!), he is a boy and he is my age. He’s kinda random, kinda not at the same time, but he’s a cutie all the same.

            Anyways he has this problem. This problem is that HE FUCKING LOVES MY GIGGLE, WHAT IS THAT?! He’s not my boyfriend he’s just a good friend don’t worry, but the thing is; HE REALLY FUCKING LOVES MY GIGGLE SO HE PRETENSIOUSLY TICKLES ME. ALL. THE. TIME.

            If you’ve ever heard me giggle, it’s a cross between a YAK coughing for air and a run over dying kitty on the road! So thinking its cute is just; NO.

            But it’s okay because he is a very entertaining person, I mean, he has a lot of penis jokes but that’s cause he’s a boy. I think we had a discussion the other day about music and I think decapitating people… that may not have been him….

            ON A LIGHTER NOTE!!!

            Its May, the beginning of May! If you put your finger in someone else’s belly button for more than 10 seconds its considered rape.

            But its only funny for 3 seconds, after 5 it’s kinda dragged, at 7 its awkward and at 9 it’s EXTREMELY awkward, and when you reach ten again ITS FUNNY.

            I went to Toronto in Ontario to go to the science center, with my class of course, but y’know, it wasn’t really that amusing, but y’know. I TOOK LOTS OF PHOTOS.

            Not like; “look a building” photo, or the “Gather in front of this sign and we’ll all smile” photo, but a “HEY LOOK IM ON A BUS,” Photo followed by a “NOW IM DRINKING, DRINKING BLOOD!”

            Speaking of which I am cold, this is my face:

            I’m cold because my sister refused to give me my house coat, and it was unfair, and I’m too nice to FORCIVELY RIP IT FROM HER HANDS, so I have to stay cold.

            Our conversation kinda went like this:

            Me: I want my house coat, why are you wearing it?

            Her: You don’t need it your wearing a sweater.

            Me: the sweater is thin, I want my house coat, you have a perfectly good house coat downstairs in your room.

            Her: but I’m too lazy to get it, why don’t you get it for me? J

            Me: but I don’t wanna go downstairs.

            Her: well neither do i!

            Me: well its my house coat so please can I have it back?

            Her: LOOK AT MY PUPPY ISNT IT CUTE?!

I’m not kidding, that’s literally how it went.